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No Spray, No Lay!: Poetry of the Looky Looky Man

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No Spray No Lay is a new original musical following the highs (some literal) and lows of a ladies’ club bathroom in 2005, complete with an all-female presenting cast, original bops and a sweaty glittery heap of nostalgia. Discover wonderful wildlife tours to book and experience in Scotland, including bird watching safaris, whale watching, farm tours and much more!

Here are the cliches of night culture. The girl who won’t listen to her bestie’s advice that she is too good for the boy she is desperately clinging on to. The girl who thinks she is too hot to handle and her frumpy pal who is along to make her look good. The sweaty ravers. And the lightweight who had too much pre-club drink and spends the night slumped in a cubicle.It is rare to see performers who can provide genuine and sustained laughter, and ride it without ever succumbing to the temptation to talk across it. The characters are all brought to life clearly and passionately by the cast, and all got their share of laughs from the audience. But though the vocal performances are uniformly strong, the energy of the performances doesn’t really translate to the choreography of the music, with even the numbers where the extra movement is character relevant not going as far as the other characters’ reactions seem to suggest.

In near constant support and billed simply as Sweaty Girls, Stacey Scott and Chiara Menozzi have a ball and provide many of the best comic lines – with Hassan feeding them with great timing – as the two regulars who are always on the verge of being barred; know where the naughty substances can be secured; and seem intent on bringing the dance floor into the toilets.

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Ruth Harris shines as Laura’s pushover best friend Jane who begins the night too insecure to enjoy herself, but eventually lets go. Harris shows off stunning vocals and handles the audience participation aspect well, though Jane’s character arc could have used a little more nuance – currently it relies on her self-worth being fixed by having sex with a man (as hilarious and well-done as the onstage moment is it’s a little one-dimensional). The two-person ensemble might be an odd choice but works perfectly for the setting and are used effectively to support the main characters and add to the comedy. Same dosage as last time, slight change of venue from the usual nights out to a house party environment. Ended up staying the night. RESULT. The visuals of the production are a huge asset and the use of projected photos is implemented really effectively. The audience are treated to selfies of the actors as characters take them on stage, using photos to punctuate punchlines and an assortment of photoshopped pictures projected to let us know when we’re speaking to somebody outside the nightclub, or referencing a trip abroad. It is used just enough to keep the audience on their toes, but not too much to be lazy storytelling, and it added to the 2000’s MySpace-crazed atmosphere, which otherwise could have been amped up even more.

These lavatory attendants, as they are probably officially known, also offer a range of designer fragrances in the belief this may help male guests attract a mate for the night, and expect to be rewarded with a coin or two for their efforts. And they’re also supposed to make sure nobody does Class A drugs in the cubicles – unless you make friends with them in advance and offer them some. Apparently. Some of them are, understandably, miserable as sin. Others, bless them, are a little more upbeat, and before sometimes breaking into full blown chorus, often chant some of the following creative lines to encourage clubbers to wash their hands after touching their penis. Very little results, I did still succeed in pulling (despite apparently smelling like piss) but alas I did not succeed in convincing my conquest to leave for the night with me. The clubbers burst in and slink out. Abigail Nelson as the super-hysterical Crystaal who is certain she is the DJ’s girlfriend and Hannah Lorimer as her bestie Sahara, who is rather more aware. Nelson and Lorimer feed nicely off each other, and deliver their numbers well. At 45 minutes, it is neither a sketch nor a full-length play, and its division into three short scenes does not help the flow. However, it is another cheerfully portrayed and comically satisfying piece.

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Although, when Jane has had enough, Harris really lets go with the musical’s biggest tune, My Time to Fly, which she does in brilliant fashion as Jane comes out of her shell and, with a couple of drinks down her, proves as lecherous as anyone else. Harris works the audience superbly, even getting one of the unsuspecting men up on stage, for what turns out to be the musical’s pivotal sequence which brings the two pairs of girls into proper conflict. best comic lines When it comes to accommodation in Scotland, there's a fantastic choice of amazing stays from luxury hotels to glamping getaways.

The setting of the ladies toilet in a nightclub is not a new one, of course. Notably, Adura Onashile used it to great effect in her 2016 play Expensive Shit, set in nightclubs in Nigeria and Glasgow. Although more superficial in intent, No Spray No Lay has a similar ability to engage with gender dynamics, the perceptiveness with which it does so, certainly helps the comedy. No spray, no lay” – awesomely, they have even been known to do this to the theme of Hot Hot Hot (Ole ole, ole ole), culminating in “freshen up, up, up!”).As far as I am aware, this list is absolutely comprehensive, which indicates exactly how constructive my life has been for the last two years. I dedicate it to the Toilet Men of London Town… Hannah Childs is great fun as Laura, who is super-confident that everyone loves her and that she is the centre of all their worlds. Ruth Harris holds it all in, as her pal Jane – who largely seems to exist to hold Laura’s handbag. With their array of hair products and Chupa-Chup lollies, the benevolent toilet attendant waits to give you the spray you need to get your lay. In Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr's lead character is the owner of what tech company? What is the name of the company that creates Officer Alex James Murphy aka Robocop? What is the name of the the company founded by Norman Osborn in Spiderman? What is the name of the company that develops replicants in Blade Runner? What company develops the Skynet AI system in the Terminator franchise? USR are company in I, Robot that create the robots which serve humanity. What does USR stand for? Bruce Wayne, or Batman, runs a green conglomerate that goes by what name? This company procures the screams (and subsequently laughter) of children to create energy for an entire city. A novel idea, but what is the name of the company? Listen, we won't say anything if you don't... No Davidoff Cool Water, no one's gonna want you to form a strong and loving relationship with them that eventually results in the creation of a daughter!"

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